I’m not too into fashion.  Don’t know the current culinary trends.  Try to avoid the trendy lounges and their exotic watermelon cocktails.  Have no idea what stupid name some celebrity gave her adopted Burmese daughter. In general, I’m pretty oblivious. 

One thing I am into, however, is “Pop” vocabulary.  And with the election, 2008 was pretty swell.  Who could forget the well-worn word “change?” And of course, the lovely couching term, “my friends.” We had a fleeting affair with the term “throw ___ under the bus.” And Sarah Palin provided us with priceless lingo virtually every time she opened her trap.  Maverick.

But 2009 is starting hot. It already has a word we can believe in.  That word?  TAINT. 

Governor Blagojevich is perhaps most responsible for bringing “taint” to the forefront of our lexicon.  He is truly a force, tainting everyone in his path.  I walked by City Hall and was struck with taint-splash-back by some mid-level bureaucrat who had only a couple encounters with the governor in ’06.  That’s a lot of taint! 

The primary definition in Websters lists “taint” as a verb.  But let’s be honest. The word is resilient. “Taint” will not be shackled by the rules of language or its etymology.  Like the word “fuck,” people are using “taint” in may different ways.  Literally, “taint” is all over the place.

Now everyone is getting into the action.  Using lies and baseless speculation, the far right is claiming Al Franken’s election is tainted.  Apparently, copious amounts of freezing taint exist in Minnesota.

Back in Chicago, John Kass continues to claim Obama has the sick stench of Chicago-political-machine-taint on him, although failing to provide real evidence as to the time and place of this taint attachment.

It’s just a matter of time before New York’s new senator joins Roland Burris on the Senate’s new “Taint Appropriations Committee.”   

For people with juvenile minds like mine, if the trend endures, 2009 will be an excellent year for double entendres and creating sentences.

For instance,

“After losing my job, I decided to purchase the tainted milk at a discount.”

or

“Don’t taint me with your questionable ethics, Count Chocula!”

and then

“I will have a large vanilla, skim latte. Hold the taint.”

and of course,

“When he hit a pothole while riding his unicycle, Charlie bruised his taint.”

Happy New Year.