Archive for January, 2012

Here’s How It’s Going To Play Out

Posted by Matt on Tuesday, January 24th, 2012

State Of The Union


As for the President’s speech? Evil.

I’m not sure much more can be said.

8:58 Your Non-Partisan Supreme Court, LAdies and Gentlemen.

9:00 My FAshion Consultant Gives MO an A for her appearance. Not so hot on HIllary’s hair for the last 2 decades.  ”Geithner Needs Eyebrow Penciling.” What does that mean?

9:10 Shoot. He gave them the manilla envelopes instead of the peanuts cans with snakes.

9:14 This State of The Union, like all SOTUs, is meaningful only in determining how many Standing Os a person can handle without rolling his eyes.

9:21 despite rumors to the contrary, @undeadpaterno is not the guest of the First Lady this evening. #SOTU

9:22 Bang Ford Marry GM Kill Fiat

9:24 Manufacturing jobs up last 2 years. Hadn’t risen since ’97. true story.

9:26 When does Newt get to berate the Media?

9:28 taken .25 alprazolam every time I’ve heard the word “fair.” stopping now.

9:31 DREAM ACT part deuxdeux? Not yet. Proposing the states do something they won’t do.

9:35 In fairness, McCain doesn’t know where he is.

9:37 I’m a big supporter of the DREAM ACt, but what was up with that “every student finish high school” requirement a few talking points ago.  Doesn’t make sense.

9:41 I hear “natural gas” but will we hear the words “climate change?” #whatyearisit

9:45: Hear Hear. DTE (Detroit Gas +Elec) paid a -3% tax rate in 2010.

9:47 John Kerry was apparently in a hockey accident when he was skating and he fell and he felt bad but then he put some ice on it and it didn’t hurt that much.

9:49 i got your “Nation-building right here.” good one.

9:51:  Republicans support your right to have ethylbenzine water. #freedom

9:53: Milk companies clean up their spills like THIS. Oil companies clean up their spills like THIS.

always about race.

9:54 So that’s why my paycheck was short? thought they passed that shit. MEMEMEME

9:58 What they don’t tell you is that the secretary of Warren Buffet’s secretary actually pays higher % in taxes than she does.

10:00 I think my willingness to stand by Kirsten Dunst in the hard times is really starting to pay off.  (Not SOTU related)

10:01 Congress just clapped in approval of their own dysfunction.

10:03 Iran coming

10:06 “So come on down + treat me with 1/2 the respect that you do Bibi”

10:09 “America is back” and we brought Eddie Murphy with us.

10:12 He didn’t say “Samoan!”

10:15 Bin Laden Reprise – the go-to closer as long as he wants it.

Lots of good adjectives on CNN right now.

Daniels invokes Super Bowl. +1

10:30 How can the country be in such awful shape and so exceptional at the same time? GOP conundrum.

10:32 Yes, these Right To Work laws I support will help the Middle Class by yanking their pensions and lowering their wages.

10:35 Steve Jobs brought tons of manufacturing jobs to USA everywhere else.

Awesome: “I’m Mitch Daniels and I estimated the Iraq war would cost $50-$60 billion:

Light bulbs! So 2010

Well, we just saw one side of Mitch Daniels

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Corporations Turned People Turn 2. Gonna Get Something Nice For Themselves. Or At Least Some Elected Officials

Posted by Matt on Monday, January 23rd, 2012

Where was John Roberts 2 years ago? Holding Justice Kennedy as he gave birth to the Citizens’ United decision. The results have been pretty predictable.  As I said 2 years ago:

The reality is that even prior to this decision, Multi-National Corporations already exert more influence on our government than ever before. The corporatists and the plutocrats rule. All one has to do is look at how fast the government came to the rescue of Wall St. while the middle class is left to implode.  Still, the thought of more government control by multi-national corporations who ship jobs overseas, open up foreign shells to avoid paying taxes, and already own our political process can only be seen as discouraging to American democracy.

There is nothing earth-shattering about that paragraph.  Both critics and supporters of the decision knew where this decision would lead. Here:

Let’s start with the top individual donors.

Got that? Here are the donations to Super PACs

Mother Jones profiled the top-20 donors. And why we currently see it skewed towards the GOP during primary season, I’m guessing the money will soon be hoisted on most candidates who are tempted to sniff the corporate cash, Obama definitely included. 

After all, spending a few million to buy a politician is one of the best investments a person/corp can make.

Happy Birthday.  Not really.

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Bob Dylan – Simple Twist Of Fate

Posted by Matt on Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

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Member Of American Press Wants To Leave All Options On The Table – Including Assassination Of Obama

Posted by Matt on Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

Andrew Adler is the owner of the  Atlanta Jewish Times, a weekly publication for Atlanta’s Jews living in these times.

He had a Op-Ed last week. It was full of ideas:

a. Strike Hezbollah and/or Hamas

b. Military strike of Iran,

c. “Order a hit” on Barack Obama.

Whoa whoa whoa. Not sure if Adler was reading Bibi’s night-night diary, but that seems a little intense + say, violently treasonous, eh?

Three, give the go-ahead for U.S.-based Mossad agents to take out a president deemed unfriendly to Israel in order for the current vice president to take his place, and forcefully dictate that the United States’ policy includes its helping the Jewish state obliterate its enemies.

Yes, you read “three” correctly. Order a hit on a president in order to preserve Israel’s existence. Think about it. If I have thought of this Tom Clancy-type scenario, don’t you think that this almost unfathomable idea has been discussed in Israel’s most inner circles?

Another way of putting “three” in perspective goes something like this: How far would you go to save a nation comprised of seven million lives…Jews, Christians and Arabs alike?

You have got to believe, like I do, that all options are on the table.

Tom Clancy, huh? 24 must not be in syndication yet.  I guess all the aid, military support and technology isn’t enough for Mr. Adler.  Apparently, the Israeli-American alliance, like “class warfare,” only runs one way.

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Chuck Todd Unknowingly Mocks Self By Fearing Colbert’s Mockery Of System Begging To Be Mocked

Posted by Matt on Saturday, January 21st, 2012

Here are Stephen and Herman Cain “campaigning” in South Carolina.

Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow…

This is too much for perpetual election “journalist” and beltway hack, Chuck Todd, who has probably uttered the words “Citizens’ United” thousands of times without explaining to viewers the basis of the decision or what it really means.

Chuck (or “Chinless” as he’s known in our house) addressed Winthrop University on the “roll of the press” with all the self-awareness of a one-eyed wombat.  From C+L:

Look, he’s got a shtick,” Todd told a Winthrop University audience today. “I admire how he’s educated his audience on super-PACs. (But) I think he’s making a mockery of the system. Is it fair to the process?”

Todd also took a swipe at the media for playing along.

Making a mockery of the system? I think the media does that on its own just fine. Perhaps newly ordainedA Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow PAC owner Jon Stewart should save some of that PAC money to put out some ads to rightfully call out the media for their rampant failures: the trumping of the horse race, the lack of fact checking, the callbacks to irrelevant players, the refusal to call out even the most obvious lies and the never-ending navel-gazing that every story is in fact all about the media and not for the edification of their viewers. Todd clutched his pearls some more:

What is his real agenda here? Is it to educate the public about the dangers of money and politics, and what’s going on? Or is it simply to marginalize the Republican Party? I think if I were a Republican candidate I would be concerned about that.”

These are some really poignant questions, Mr. Todd.  Perhaps you should look inward at the MSM’s own agenda ($ + access) as opposed to criticizing a satirical display that’s apparently not nuanced enough for you.  What’s your agenda? Churning out another week’s worth of shallow bullshit that does nothing to educate your viewers? Yes, Stephen Colbert is threatening the system – a system that sees you as integral in marginalizing as many Americans as possible.




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Santorum’s Website Accidentally Sells Sex

Posted by Matt on Saturday, January 21st, 2012

Another Santorum Surge Seems Enviously Xerotic

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The Pogues – Misty Morning Albert Bridge

Posted by Matt on Saturday, January 21st, 2012

When music videos told narratives and Shane Macgowan lurked in random apartments. Call the cops!

I love this song.


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Awful Person/”Chef” Paula Deen Hit In The Face With Diabetes, Reaps Profit

Posted by Matt on Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

If you had “2008″ in the Paula Deen Is Diagnosed With Type II Diabetes Pool, looks like you’re a winner. 

“I was diagnosed three years ago during a regular physical exam with my doctor, that I had type 2 diabetes. I am here today to let the world know that it is not a death sentence. I am working with a very reputable pharmaceutical company. I’m working on a new program called ‘Diabetes in a New Light.’ You can go to our website. I’m going to be there for you and help you manage every day of your life with this, because it can be done.”Celebrity chef and Food Network star Paula Deen is teaming with drugmaker Novo Nordisk to launch a program that aims to help people live with Type 2 diabetes and promote a Novo diabetes drug.

Deen has Type 2 diabetes and takes Victoza, a once-daily noninsulin injection. The website links to promotional materials for the drug.

Deen also dismissed rumors that she was covering up her diabetes to protect her reputation. “That was not why. My knowledge about the disease was very limited,” she told USA Today. “But now I’m coming with good information, something that can help and bring hope to other people. It may sound cliché, but it’s the God-honest truth.”

Well if you say it with such folksy gumption, you must be telling the truth.

Paula Deen - 21st Century American Roll Model.  I hope Novo Nordisk welcomes her to the family with a congratulatory ham.

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Israel Uses American Aid To Make Us Look Like Murderous Dicks, Because We Needed The Help

Posted by Matt on Wednesday, January 18th, 2012

Under George W. Bush + President Obama, military aid to Israel has reached unprecedented levels. Here is how we’ve been thanked.

From Foreign Policy, Newsweek’s less vapid cousin who is a little awkward around women.

Buried deep in the archives of America’s intelligence services are a series of memos, written during the last years of President George W. Bush’s administration, that describe how Israeli Mossad officers recruited operatives belonging to the terrorist group Jundallah by passing themselves off as American agents. According to two U.S. intelligence officials, the Israelis, flush with American dollars and toting U.S. passports, posed as CIA officers in recruiting Jundallah operatives — what is commonly referred to as a “false flag” operation.

The article goes on to paint a picture distilling precisely why Middle East tranquility is so far away.  Knee-jerk reactions to asinine Iranian rhetoric, followed by bold proclamations by nuclear powers with zero sense of irony and self-awareness.  Topped with covert + illegal actions against sovereign nations. (Served with a side of religious zealotry for all parties)

Israel’s relationship with Jundallah continued to roil the Bush administration until the day it left office, this same intelligence officer noted. Israel’s activities jeopardized the administration’s fragile relationship with Pakistan, which was coming under intense pressure from Iran to crack down on Jundallah. It also undermined U.S. claims that it would never fight terror with terror, and invited attacks in kind on U.S. personnel.

Of course, the “Most Powerful Country On Earth” has to walk on eggshells when it comes to Israel, god forbid Steve King or some other jackass condemns you for actually calling it like it is.  I don’t remember voting for President Netenyahu, but apparently he was on the ballot.

 ”It’s easy to understand why Bush was so angry,” a former intelligence officer said. “After all, it’s hard to engage with a foreign government if they’re convinced you’re killing their people. Once you start doing that, they feel they can do the same.”

A senior administration official vowed to “take the gloves off” with Israel, according to a U.S. intelligence officer. But the United States did nothing — a result that the officer attributed to “political and bureaucratic inertia.”

“In the end,” the officer noted, “it was just easier to do nothing than to, you know, rock the boat.” Even so, at least for a short time, this same officer noted, the Mossad operation sparked a divisive debate among Bush’s national security team, pitting those who wondered “just whose side these guys [in Israel] are on” against those who argued that “the enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

Rick Perry & I agree. Oh yeah we do. Let’s take a look at our military aid, who really needs it, and for what purposes.  What do you say, everyone?



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GW’s Favorite Things – 2011

Posted by Matt on Monday, January 16th, 2012

Buying gifts for certain people is a difficult undertaking. What do you get for that terrible American consumer?

Maybe this will help.

I tried to prepare this in advance of the holidays.  I missed Christmas, but just in time if you’re looking for that late MLK-day gift idea.

1. 12-Pack of Miller High Life bottles:  It’s the perfect purchase for that small gathering you’re attending. Especially if it’s a gathering of “1.”

2. Hanes’ White T-Shirts (crew neck)

These basic clothing items do a great job of covering your torso at a reasonable cost.



Double Threat:  They can function as your summer wardrobe, as well as being the perfect undershirt for your business-casual existence. I prefer crew neck to v-neck because v’neck shirts tend to pull at 7 of my 12 chest hairs.


3.  Throwback Sporting Apparel For His Favorite Team

2 examples here, the first being the ’88 Bulls Logo cap. Next, check me out sporting the 1986 Snapback Bulls hat (I’m the one below). And YES, over my right shoulder  you will find those sticks that make the room smell like something.  Here we have the “Coast” scent of lotus flower, bergamot & lemon leaf. Ball so hard.

4.  New Balance shoes:  The perfect running shoe for dudes who hate running. I have 2 pairs that have lasted years. I believe Dr. Dan has NBs in all colors distinguishable by the human eye.

Also, for your smug satisfaction…

And we’re proud to say that 25% of our shoes sold in The United States are made or assembled right here.

If you’re wearing a pair of NB, feel free to annoy someone with the fact that 1/2 of one shoe you’re wearing is Made in the USA!  This allows you to confront wearers of Communist sneakers and ask them why their feet hate freedom.

For a false sense of salience, get some New Balance.

You’re welcome.

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Gratuitous World Blog

    • College Football Players, Awaken…
      January 29, 2014

      [Former NCAA President Myles Brand:] They can’t be paid. [Q:] Why? [Brand:] Because they’re amateurs. [Q:] What makes them amateurs? [Brand:] Well, they can’t be paid. [Q:] Why not? [Brand:] Because they’re amateurs. [Q:] Who decided they are amateurs? [Brand:] We did. [Q:] Why? [Brand:] Because we don’t pay them. – Michael Rosenberg’s 2010 Sports Illustrated interview of former NCAA president Myles Brand Yesterday, quarterback Kain Colter led a group […]

    • GW: Favorite Albums Of 2013
      January 11, 2014

      On time as always! Happy New Year. 20.  Vampire Weekend – Modern Vampires of the City:  Ok kids, we get it. Good work. 19.  Scott & Charlene’s Wedding – Any Port In A Storm 18.  Charlie Parr – Barnswallow 17. My Bloody Valentine – MBV:  Per usual, I can’t understand a fucking word, but still pretty […]

      January 7, 2014

      (originally posted 2/10/10) then again (7/9/10) now one more time before retirement. for love. UPDATE: So it’s as hot as fuck out east because, you know, it’s July. Anyway, I’m just checking in because although You Know and I Know daily mid-Atlantic microtrends in weather do not offer any proof or disproof with regard to […]