Archive for June, 2012

So Far So Summer

Posted by Matt on Saturday, June 30th, 2012

I haven’t written much lately.  We adopted a feral rabbit and it’s occupying a lot of our time.  But how about the dozen of us catch up together.  Here we go.

I got married. Married life is enjoyable.  Most of our conversations end in projecting how much sex we will be having 10 years from now. Answer? Zero. (Mayans)

And then…

….the New York Times published a report on President Obama’s ‘Kill List,’ the mechanism the White House uses to attack suspected terrorists from a converted Galaga machine somewhere in Nevada.  It also discusses the intricate National Security apparatus that allows the military and/or CIA to carry out these strikes and the coinciding decision-making process.  It’s a lot like the gradeschool game MASH, except it tends to end up, “Mohammed / in a village / with 6 kids / and a robotic missile.”

And then…

François Hollande is elected French President. The Economist loses its shit. Putin is “elected” (haha) on the same day – but it’s cool because it’s hard to criticize a man who unironically rides horses while shirtless.

And then…

North Carolina, home of legal incest, bans gay marriage because of hate Jesus.  This finally allows the wife and I to enjoy our hetero nuptials.  Thanks bigots!!!

And then…

The next day Obama comes out of the awesome-timing-closet to support gay marriage. Santorum shits a rainbow.

And then…

I picked up the new Shins album.  It’s good.

And then…

Dozens of Syrian children are massacred. Can’t lighten that up.

And then…

The Census bureau reports the Browns Blacks And Yellows are now the majority in America.  America no longer exceptional.

And then…

JP Morgan loses a bunch of money.  Congress calls Jamie Dimon in to fellate him for being the ideal American and doing so well at taking exorbitant fees for shuffling money around.

And then…

And then…

Wisconsin governor Scott Walker outraises his opponent 10:1 and heroically overcomes the odds to win his recall election.

And then…

After not watching the entire season, we watched the season finale of The Killing, just to see who killed Rosie.  And unfortunately not all the characters died.

And then…

Bath salts.

And then…

Dicks in the Michigan House ban Rep. Lisa Brown from the House floor for saying ‘vagina’ in a debate about government control of vaginas.

And then…

VAGINA!

And then…

Egypt.

And then…

The Heat won the championship because Lebron is the best player on the planet.  Millions of people can’t handle it.  They hate him so much. It’s really funny.  He had a remarkable Finals.  Chris Bosh behaves weirdly. GW nailed it’s predictions – calls its own number.  Really stepped out there.

And then…

Darrell Issa (R-Hackville) continues the GOP’s laser-like focus on job creation by leading one of the most disingenuous investigations in memory.  Holder is the first AG to be held in contempt in our history.  That must mean this Fast+Furious program, started in the Bush era (but evidentally masterminded by Holder), is the first botched operation in our history and has nothing to do with lax NRA-endorsed gun laws in states like Arizona.

And then…

Chief Justice Roberts commits treason by upholding a clearly constitutional law that was never really discussed as being unconstitutional during legislative “debates.” Millions will have access to health insurance and can delay dying for a few more months. So clearly SCOTUS doesn’t like you. Scalia hate-masterbates with peanut butter.

And of course…

Jerry Sandusky convicted on 45 of 48 counts.  The people of PSU are disgusting. Some finally start to realize Joe Pa might have had something to do with the institutional enabling of a child rapist.  Of course, much of this information was available in November. But, you know, football victories are most important.

That’s all. Hope to see you soon.

Read the rest of this post →

{no comments


Gratuitous World Blog

    • College Football Players, Awaken…
      January 29, 2014

      [Former NCAA President Myles Brand:] They can’t be paid. [Q:] Why? [Brand:] Because they’re amateurs. [Q:] What makes them amateurs? [Brand:] Well, they can’t be paid. [Q:] Why not? [Brand:] Because they’re amateurs. [Q:] Who decided they are amateurs? [Brand:] We did. [Q:] Why? [Brand:] Because we don’t pay them. – Michael Rosenberg’s 2010 Sports Illustrated interview of former NCAA president Myles Brand Yesterday, quarterback Kain Colter led a group […]

    • GW: Favorite Albums Of 2013
      January 11, 2014

      On time as always! Happy New Year. 20.  Vampire Weekend – Modern Vampires of the City:  Ok kids, we get it. Good work. 19.  Scott & Charlene’s Wedding – Any Port In A Storm 18.  Charlie Parr – Barnswallow 17. My Bloody Valentine – MBV:  Per usual, I can’t understand a fucking word, but still pretty […]

    • REPOST!…SNOW MY GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE…
      January 7, 2014

      (originally posted 2/10/10) then again (7/9/10) now one more time before retirement. for love. UPDATE: So it’s as hot as fuck out east because, you know, it’s July. Anyway, I’m just checking in because although You Know and I Know daily mid-Atlantic microtrends in weather do not offer any proof or disproof with regard to […]