Archive for July, 2012

American Swimming Coach Wins Gold Medals In Sour Grapes, Baseless Speculation

Posted by Matt on Tuesday, July 31st, 2012

O' Ye of little faith

Chinese swimmer Shiwen Ye blasted a World Record on her way to a Gold in some Olympics’ event.  She’s only 16. She trains in Australia. She’s not from America. So she obviously cheated.

John Leonard, executive director of the World Swimming Coaches Association, told The Guardian that the 16-year-old’s freestyle leg in her IM swim was simply “impossible”.

“The one thing I will say is that history in our sport will tell you  that every time we see something, and I will put quotation marks around  this, ‘unbelievable’, history shows us that it turns out later on there  was doping involved,” Leonard told the British newspaper.’

Michael Phelps’ camp has not responded to Leonard’s implication that he was clearly doping 4 years ago.

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Hey Potheads! Here Are 3 Fairly Funny Actors Ripping Bongs For Promotional Purposes.

Posted by Matt on Sunday, July 29th, 2012

Nick Offerman stars in an upcoming movie called, Somebody Up There Likes Me.  Here he is with Alison Brie and wife (who knew?) Megan Mullally with an astute promotional video aimed at a certain segment of the population: the cool segment.

 

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Indiana Mayor Is Going To Show You Who’s The Bossiest

Posted by Matt on Saturday, July 28th, 2012

clearly color blind

Nobody puts Logansport, IN Mayor Ted Franklin in a corner.  From Jalopnik:

[Franklin] parked his yellow Corvette Convertible halfway into a no parking zone last Friday outside of the town hall. Reportedly, police let him know the car was parked illegally around noon.

Hours later, someone else who got a ticket for parking a car in the same space called to complain that there was no ticket. Former Chief of Police AJ Rozzi issued a ticket at 4:15. Interestingly, Mayor Franklin had refused to hire Rozzi’s son for a position on the police force.

Blast, Rozzis!  Franklin’s seems to have a contentious relationship with local law enforcement.  In April, the mayor’s 30-year old son was busted trying to sell an ounce of shitty weed to an undercover officer.

So despite the cash-strapped municipality’s limited resources, Franklin chose to draw a line in the pavement.

Franklin paid the $20 fine on Monday, but he’ll never get a ticket for it again. Why’s that?

Because Franklin now has his own extra large parking spot that’s big enough to fit an entire bus full of mayors. It was placed in an area of the building’s lot that was previously just for police use and it matches the color of his Corvette.

This is a luxurious parking spot.  It can also double as a practice floor for DAN-CING! Small time Mayor. Big time Clown.

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People Of Pennsylvania Still Support Child Rape Enabler

Posted by Matt on Friday, July 27th, 2012

The people of Pennsylvania are fucking lunatics.  That is all.

PPP’s newest poll of Pennsylvania finds there’s still a fair amount of support for Joe Paterno in the state, although his image has taken somewhat of a hit. 45% of voters in the state see him favorably to 37% with a negative opinion. That represents a net 15 point decline from a November survey when he was at +23 (51/28). By a 48/35 margin respondents expressed opposition to removing his statue from the Penn State campus, something that ended up happening in the middle of the poll’s Saturday-Monday field period.

When replica statues are inevitably hoisted across the state, maybe Phil Knight can dedicate them and Franco Harris can raise them with his bare hands.

the real victim.

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Guns Don’t Kill People, Peop- Wait, OK Yeah, Guns Kill People

Posted by Matt on Thursday, July 26th, 2012

As the Founders intended…

I’m a ”gun rights” supporter + the issue of gun control rates really low on the list of things I care about.  However, the NRA is such a disgustingly petulant group of assholes that I support any discussion that irritates their stunted, hypersensitive egos.

I agree that if someone is determined to kill people, it’s typically difficult to prevent that act, strict gun laws or not.

I also think it’s probably too easy for people to purchase guns anonymously, that certain automatic weapons should maybe just be illegal, and why the heck should buying 6000 rounds of semiautomatic ammo on-line be so easy.

The regurgitated argument from gun zealots is, “well, the criminals have the guns, so I need to get mine to protect my daughter and my Time Life Books.”

“The Bad Guys will always be able to get guns, even if they’re illegal.”  Maybe.  Or maybe that argument is about as hollow as the bullets you just bought out of some hilljack’s trunk.

The FBI’s Uniform Crime Reports for 2009 list 10,224 homicides that involved a gun.

Mamoru Suzuki of Japan’s National Research Institute of Police Science e-mailed us that there were seven gun murders in Japan during 2009.

For the United Kingdom and Germany, we had to extrapolate, taking firearm murder rates per 1,000 people, then, using population statistics, calculate the number of firearm murders. The data, from a United Nations survey of crime trends, cover 1998 to 2000, the most recent available for firearms deaths.

We found that the United Kingdom had 63 firearm murders, and Germany had 381. Experts we consulted said the figures sounded about right.

…[the] number of killings didn’t take into account population, which can be a significant factor. But the differences are so great that it doesn’t change the comparison very much.

So America just has that many more ‘Bad Guys?’ I don’t buy it.  I mean, Germany??

Can we have an adult discussion about common sense regulation?  (No, we probably can’t have an adult discussion about common sense regulation.)

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GOP: Wrapping Tax Cuts For The Wealthy With A Small Business Ribbon

Posted by Matt on Thursday, July 26th, 2012

For 30 years, the top 1% has banked at an exponential rate. Corporate Profits are at an all-time high. Everyone else?

In 2010, average real income per family grew by 2.3% but the gains were very  uneven. [In 2010] Top 1% incomes grew by 11.6% while bottom 99% incomes grew only by 0.2%.  Hence, the top 1% captured 93% of the income gains in the first year of  recovery.

So as wealth cascades up and coalesces in a cacophony of Beltway Bunga bunga parties, the deficit increases and Washington is set to play around with the “temporary” (haha) Bush tax cuts - an amazing policy that has created so many jobs.

Obama has proposed letting the tax cuts lapse for those making more than $250,000 (though these people would retain the same tax rates on income up to 250k.).  This seems reasonable, but the GOP is sounding Drudge sirens + claiming, “No, no, we can’t do this – think of all the small businesses.  You remember those, right? The Mom+Pop stores that used to exist before we gave Wal-Mart huge tax incentives to come in and ravage your small town we pretend to care about.”

This is all bullshit.

Very few small business owners face the top two tax rates.  The Treasury study shows that only 2.5 percent of small business owners, and 7.9 percent of filers with any income from small businesses that employ people, face the top two tax rates.  Only 0.5 percent of small business owners, and 3.3 percent of filers with any income from small businesses that employ people, make $1 million or more per year.{…}

Extending the tax cuts on incomes in excess of $250,000 would add nearly $1 trillion to deficits over 2013 to 2022, but benefit only about the highest-income 2 percent of households.  The biggest benefits would flow to the very highest-income people… more than 80 percent of the value of the upper-income tax cuts would go to people who make more than $1 million a year.

yes, but think of all the Jobs these Jobs Creators will continue to not Create?!?!

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Thank You, Derrick Ward. Finally Somone Speaks Out On The Selfish Idiocy Of NFL Players

Posted by Matt on Monday, July 23rd, 2012

 

adult

Once a person achieves a certain level of wealth, they become virtually immune to some common criminal prosecutions.  For instance, rich Americans are roughly as likely to use illegal drugs as poor Americans.  Yet the poorer a person is, the greater likelihood they will be arrested for petty drug offenses.

Even crimes that are almost exclusively “white-collar” don’t get prosecuted to the full extent of the law – as can be seen by the failure to bring almost anyone to justice despite a lot of “legally hazy” behavior surrounding the crash of our economy in 2008.  Conversely, mandatory minimums are ruthlessly imposed for different crimes, usually effecting the poorest of Americans.

There is a great equalizer, however:  the DUI.  Though the rich can usually lawyer their way to better terms,  in most cases a DUI is a DUI.  In the NFL, DUIs have been rampant.  According to Profootballtalk.com,

Nick Fairley, Kenny Britt, Donald Washington, Marshawn Lynch, Robert Quinn, Aaron Berry, David Diehl, Justin Blackmon, Jerome Felton, Darrius Heyward-Bey, Brandon Meriweather, Knowshon Moreno and Aldon Smith — have been arrested for drunk driving this year.

Derrick Ward was an 8-year journeyman RB who retired in the off-season. A few days ago, he took to Twitter to call out the ridiculous misbehavior:

“Alright NFL players!!! Its absolutely E-N-O-U-G-H!!! Drinking and Driving? How dumb can u be? Its absolutely stupid and your making the good guys that actually do right in the NFL look bad,” Ward wrote.

“How easy is it to call a cab to get a ride home? So what? Leave your car get it in the am!? Stop being so dumb! Yes that’s right dumb! I’m sitting here retired enjoyed a great career now all I want to do is become a fan and I see numerous arrest for DWI in the past several weeks?

How many has it been this week 4? Absolutely ridiculous your not only putting yourself in danger but your putting other innocent people in danger that don’t deserve your stupidity. Open your eyes and do the right thing. I know what its like to get go out get drunk and debate on weather to drive home or not. Call a taxi! So what if u spend some money to take one or U get a ticket on your car in the am when u go bac 2 get it At least u won’t have to pay bail and then lawyer fees and then miss game checks from being suspended for a few games. Damn this really has me furious and its so avoidable.

Tighten up youngsters of the NFL because guess what it doesn’t mean National Football League it really means Not For Long league. There’s no excuse to drive drunk! NONE! If all else fails WALK! NFL players are world class athletes Walking should be nothing!”

AMEN!

I’m a huge supporter of the drunk pedestrian (obey those traffic lights, drunkards!).  Drinking + driving is an incredibly selfish + dangerous act. And I’m not here to wag the finger -  I shudder with shameful dread thinking about some of the times I got behind the wheel in my younger days, particularly high school. gross.

So listen, rich meatheads.  Just get a fucking cab. Or walk. Or run real fast for 5 seconds, huddle up for 30 seconds, then run again for another 5.  Repeat.  As Ward said, you’re world class athletes!

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Rush Limbaugh: For The Record…

Posted by Matt on Saturday, July 21st, 2012

In November, following the Grand Jury Presentment that included Paterno’s testimony that McQueary told him Jerry Sandusky sexually assaulted a child in the PSU showers.

 

Rush Limbaugh – always on the right side of history.  At least he didn’t blame the victims this time.  The victim was clearly Joe Pa.

Full hilarity from Rush about how ”The Left Wants Everybody To Believe” That People With “Impeccable Reputations” Are “Scumbags” over at Media Matters.  Per ususal, the illogical circuitous ramblings end up at…wait for it…Bill Clinton.

 

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One Sentence Album Review Via Wine Descriptors – Kelly Hogan

Posted by Matt on Saturday, July 21st, 2012

 Kelly Hogan – I Like To Keep Myself In Pain

floral and spicy nose with unpredictably lively crisp citrus, balanced with softer fruit and a hint of sweetness.

Grade: B

Listen to this while: muting that conference call.

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Here’s Some Decent News About AIDS

Posted by Matt on Friday, July 20th, 2012

Rough day. Let’s lighten things up a bit and talk some HIV/AIDS.

A few days ago, the FDA approved Truvada, an antiretroviral drug that has shown some success reducing the risk of contracting HIV.

And now there’s this report from the UN.

In 2011, more than 8 million people had access to antiretroviral therapy.  
- An increase of 20% in just one year from 2010 to 2011. 
In 2011, 2.5 million [2.2 million–2.8 million] people were newly infected with HIV.
- A reduction of 20% since 2001. 
Around 330 000 [280 000–380 000] children were newly infected with HIV in 2011.
- A reduction of 24% in just two years––from 2009-2011.
Some 1.7 million people [1.6 million–1.9 million] died from AIDS-related causes in 2011.
- A decline of 24% since the peak in 2005.  
There were 34.2 million [31.8 million–35.9 million] people living with HIV in 2011.
- More than ever before due to the life prolonging effects of antiretroviral therapy.
TB remains the leading cause of death among people living with HIV. 
Young people aged between 15-24 years account for 40% of all new adult (15+) HIV 
infections.
Globally, infection rates in young women 15–24 years old are twice as high as among men 
of the same age.
Global investments for HIV totalled about US$ 16.8 billion in 2011. 
46 countries, territories and areas restrict people living with HIV from entering or staying.

It’s not all amazing, but at least it’s not another essence-sapping downer pulling us into an infinite sad-anger hellscape.   The  global fight started way too late and can still do better, but there are a lot of people and entities who deserve to be proud of what they’ve done to combat HIV/AIDS.

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Gratuitous World Blog

    • Homeowner Pays Loan Early, Gets Foreclosed On Because Bankers Are Thieving Bastards
      May 25, 2013

      Wells Fargo – bank, investment advisor, manager of my IRA (yes, I’m part of the problem) and corporate citizen extraordinaire has found a new way to fuck over its customers. ORLANDO, Fla. - A man who made loan modification payments on time and early said Wells Fargo stopped taking payments and started foreclosing on his house. [...]

    • “Thank Dead Reagan For Electing Obama,” Says America’s Favorite Congressman
      May 24, 2013

      In 1986, Ronald Reagan signed an immigration bill that included amnesty for about 3 million undocumented immigrants and secret Russian agents.  The consequences were twofold:  Having to press “1″ for English and the election of President Obama. Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) said Thursday that President Obama would not be president if it weren’t for the [...]

    • Vinny Del Negro Receives Exciting New Opportunity To Get Fired By Spring Grove High School
      May 22, 2013

      Spring Grove, IN – New Spring Grove High School basketball coach Vinny Del Negro is ecstatic about his upcoming opportunity to get fired by the Indiana school. Meeting with reporters on Wednesday, Del Negro said, “I’m expecting big things out of this program. We’re going to put forth nearly maximum effort for the next 2 [...]