Crazy I’m Amazed At The Way They Really Need You

Posted by Matt on Thursday, February 18th, 2010

The Platform of the NeoCons’ 2000′s “War on Terror”:

-Manufacture faulty intelligence as a pretext to invade a country unassociated with any terrorist attack;

-Criminally unconstitutional, immoral, and ultimately counterproductive, torture, rendition + indefinite detention;

-Counterproductive, unconstitutional spying;

-Ineptitude in execution of stated objectives;

-Hiding behind inflammatory, big-balled fear-mongering rhetoric, while secretly cowering in a feeble chickenhawk shell.

The theories and practices of this inept gaggle of assclowns have failed over and over and over. Will they fade softly into the night + let some reasonable adults have a chance? Not on your life. Or mine.

John Bolton  stops by Greta VanSusterennrnenen’s show. And he’s pissed because we haven’t started a war in a while.  To paraphrase, “I’m displeased Obama isn’t doing more to help Israel bomb Iran, despite the fact that Iran’s military budget is less than Sweden’s and it may not be in Israel’s best interests.”

Unless Bolton is offering ‘free mustache rides!‘ I don’t understand what kind of legitimacy this lends to your show. Although, this requires pretending this is not Fox News and the primary goal of all political coverage is not the undermining of the Obama Administration. Good luck.

Picture the producers brainstorming their GVS guest book:

DBag #1: We really need to get that guy from the Bush Administration who thinks we should invade Iran.

Dbag#2: Which one?

Dbag#1: You know, the guy from AEI. The one who wants to invade a bunch of places, but avoided military service during Vietnam.

Dbag#2: Which one?

Dbag#1: The one who joked about a terrorist attack on Chicago. Ummmm, the company man who totally undermined the Iran Contra Investigation and then helped spread the “Iraq seeking uranium from Niger” lie.

Dbag#2: Yeah,  I’m drawing a blank. Has he been on Fox?

Dbag#1: Been on Fox? He’s on all the fucking time…C’mon dude. The guy that thinks the US should be the only country with nukes. The guy who pisses all over our allies and despises nearly any form of international treaty or agreement.

Dbag#2: you’re going to have to be more specific.

Dbag#1:  Jesus, DBag#2. Throw me a bone! Umm. Mustache! The guy with the fucking mustache!

Dbag#2: Bolton?

Dbag#1: Yes! John Bolton. Get that guy for GVS. Phew. He’s due. Man… that was an insane ordeal.

Speaking of sanity, Glenn Beck stopped by Fox & Family & Friends & Freaks & Fucktards to apply his unique experience as a radio DJ to the National Security issues of the day.

For those of you who don’t know, the coalition forces, in concert with Pakistan, have been laying it down on the Taliban. While I personally see these efforts as pretty futile, they are inflicting considerably more damage on the Taliban than in the previous 7 years. Who knows what that means for the Big Picture.

Anyway, we captured the Taliban #2 man. Cue Mr. Beck.

Beck:We just captured the second most wanted guy in al Qaeda. The first thing out of my mind? Shoot him in the head. Shoot him in the head. Before it goes into a court and we’re doing all of this nonsense back and forth. He’s a bad guy. Shoot him in the head.

(crosstalk)

Fake Dumb Fake Blonde: What about getting information from him…

Beck (gesturing like a gay epileptic seal): Oh, Uh, ah. If i were in charge. We would be interrogating him. And we’d interrogate him. And interrogate him. And interrogate him. And then we’d shoot him in the head.  But with these people that are currently running our country?  And they’ll, they’ll make the troops the bad guys and everything else?  Shoot him in the head before we all of a sudden release him into what? Primary schools in New York City. What are we going to do with this guy?

Beck has turned a big time counter-terrorism tactical achievement into, “Obama hates the troops and captured this evil man so he can let him prey on your small children.”

Being utterly deranged and utterly despicable are no longer mutually exclusive traits.


4 Responses to Crazy I’m Amazed At The Way They Really Need You

  1. Paul Comes says:

    “Fox & Family & Friends & Freaks & Fucktards ” – Priceless. LLOL (literally laughed out loud).

    It’s sad that people like Bolton have an audience thru Fox. The Bush admin brought crazies to the fore (Cheney, Rumsfeld, Pearl and Bolton) who under his father’s admin (a fairly staunch conservative himself) were marginalized and thought crazy. How did these fuckers become mainstream? They prey on the fear and ignorance of what has become a frighteningly large group of Americans who eat their shit up. Let’s hope that part of the American population doesn’t grow any larger than it has.

  2. Hernandez says:

    Carps, one thing you are forgetting to mention is that all these atrocious practices are being continued within the Obama administration. I agree with the ACLU, President Obama is looking more like President Bush 43 every day.

  3. Matt says:

    TH – I agree + I’ve mentioned that in other posts. It just seems like the media always frames this as Obama On The Left v. Cheney (et al.) on the Right. And they focus on the incremental differences (civilian courts, Guantanamo…) instead of the broad patterns of violations of American Rule of Law.

    I think the proper Nat’l Security Debate should be Obama + continuation of Cheney/Bush v. an adherence to the Bill of Rights + the Rule of Law.

    Do we want to live in a country true to its virtues with regard to the BoR + the Rule of Law and have an extremely rare chance of being the victim of a terrorist attack? Or

    Do we want to sell these values down the river in the name of “national security” ….and still have a chance of being the victim of a terrorist attack?

  4. Hernandez says:

    Matt, I do not fear being attacked by terrorists. If they want to get in to our country and kill me, they can regardless of phone taps or foreign wars. I am much more fearful of car accidents, cancers, solar flares, and overreaching governments.

    As Americans, we must reject the Bush Doctrine, corporate fascism, and funny money before it is too late.

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