Caveat: Florida.
On the eve of the Republican National Convention this August, real estate mogul and reality TV star Donald Trump will accept an accolade of his own just an hour south of Tampa as he receives the 2012 “Statesman of the Year” award from the Sarasota Republican Party.
Qualifications include:
- Diplomatically presiding over interstate tart relations with only minor controversy.
- Well-respected by not-bat-shit-crazy-at-all segment of population for zeal in redundant presidential witch hunts.
- Sending kin to Mugabe’s Zimbabwe to take part in eradicating dangerous herbivores.
- Willingness to ignore hypocrisy and maintain professional demeanor in insulting foreign nations while continuing to do business with them.
- Meticulous maintenance of that too-cool-to-try statesman look:
Trump narrowly defeated Medicaid-fraud beneficiary and Florida governor Rick Scott, whose diplomatic decision to close the state’s only TB clinic during the worst outbreak in decades came after the nomination deadline. Maybe next year!