Douchenozzle Of The Week

Posted by Matt on Thursday, August 13th, 2009

Douchenozzle - let me count the ways.

Douchenozzle - let me count the ways.

I’m a huge Cubs fan. I’m also a huge Cubs fan that despises a lot of the “fans” that show up to Wrigley Field on a typical evening.  Case in point, this tool (above) took it upon himself to pour his $8 beer on Phillies’ CF Shane Victorino during last night’s Phillies’ rout.

Wrigley security ejected the wrong guy – the guy on the right who looks like the fat, asthmatic chipmunk.  However, today the Cubs and Victorino filed a report with the Chicago Police Department.  The CPD is now looking for this douchenozzle, and hopefully he’s found.

The bleachers at Wrigley can be a great place to watch a game.  Lately, not so much.  I thought bleacher d-bags were losing interest in the recent tradition of tossing trash on the field after a bad call or tough break late in a game.  This invariably results in a 15-minute delay where the grounds crew has to come clear the warning track of garbage.  And oh yeah, trash that was not tossed during the initial tantrum then gets thrown at the ground crew.  Class all-around.

This douchenozzle maintains this tradition.   To paraphrase WSCR host Dan Bernstein,  you know you’re an asshole when the guy in the blue Fukudome-headband is giving you the “what-the-fuck?!” look.  And I know I’ve mentioned this before, but while we’re on the subject, what’s up with adult white guys wearing slightly-off-center caps? Wipe that stupid grin off your face.  You look like a fucking asshole.

Anyone who knows this douchenozzle, please let him know he’s a fucker.  Then call the cops.


2 Responses to Douchenozzle Of The Week

  1. Baseballbriefs.com tracking back Douchenozzle Of The Week…

    Baseballbriefs.com tracking back Douchenozzle Of The Week…

  2. Dawn says:

    The white ensemble of matching t-shirt, wristband, and even sunglasses was sufficient to brand him a douchenozzle in my book, but the off-center big-billed hat capped it off pretty nicely as well. His fall guy was family, too. What an ass.

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