confusing
Dear Ms. Fox:
Good day. I hope this patronizing note finds you well. I’ve seen you in many movie previews while watching sports on television. Apparently, people are enamored with your vacant eyes, rigid mannequin-mold body, and great taste in movie roles. You also have tattoos!
Call me a hater. Call me jaded. But I just don’t get it. Where did you come from? Are you a Replicant? Is Blade Runner real? How about The Fugitive? Did Dr. Charles Nichols really switch the samples so that RDU-90 could be approved and Devlin McGregor could give us Provasic!?! I thought so.
From Bad Boys II to Transformers to Transformers XIV, you’ve distinguished yourself among chronic masturbaters. I also read that producers cut down your dialogue, but you have a great physical presence on-screen. Like Buster Keaton!
So now you went and married David Silver. Good for you! Personally, I think it’s a perfect match. You think you’re a serious actress. BAG thought he was a serious rapper. Jackpot!
From pretty much all accounts, BAG is a tremendous asshat. But asshats can be people too. Also, A Friend’s Betrayal (1996) is one of the best Lifetime movies ever produced (along with the one starring pre-nose-job Calista Flockhart as a crazy bulimic). Someday you might be able to add something respectable to your IMDB page. I don’t think Jonah Hex is gonna cut it.
Anyway, I just want to get to know you better. I’m sure we could really connect through mouth-breathing and blinking. Think about it! Switch it up!
Sincerely,
Grown Man
my favorite line: “I’ve seen you in many movie previews while watching sports on television”
While this is up to your usual witty standards, I don’t have much to add to the Megan Fox story so I’d like to comment on the B.A.G. angle. I’m not sure if you know this, but I’m a bit of a 90210 buff. That is a top notch clip and has the added benefit of a virtual runway show of atrocious early-90s fashion and Brandon’s steadfast refusal to dance, because everyone knows Brando doesn’t dance, drink or use drugs except for that one time Emily Valentine tricked him into using U4EA. Anywho, while it is a great clip it doesn’t really showcase the other sides of David Silver as an artist, namely his pure song and dance talents. To that end, I have to include this clip from his breakthrough gig at the Beverly Hills Beach club circa 1991 performing his early classic “Be Be, Be My Love”. Be sure to check out his sweet dance moves starting around 1:15, and definitely stick around for an awesome Steve Sanders fist pump towards the end.
I didn’t know Megan Fox was in Bad Boys II. I’ll have to rent that sh%t!
There’s no need to harp on BAG here though. That dude is coming out way on top here. I wonder if he has any influence at all in that relationship though?
I thought I knew a little 90210, but had no idea Steve Sanders was Silver’s Joe Jackson.