In Portland, Even The BDSM Crowd Rolls In Subarus

Posted by Matt on Thursday, February 16th, 2012

the players.

[Via Gawker]

PORTLAND, Ore. – Some Valentine’s Day “role-playing” landed a couple in jail on Tuesday after the boyfriend and girlfriend were arrested and accused of disorderly conduct.

A Portland Police spokesman said around 12:35 p.m. officers got reports that a naked woman had been tied up in a car with duct tape over her mouth.

There are ‘nooners,’ and there are ‘NOONERS.’

Sgt. Pete Simpson said officers raced to the area to look for the Subaru Legacy. Officers in Washington were also alerted in case the car was spotted driving on I-5.

A witness told police that the man driving the car “seemed hazy” and stated he and the woman were “just having some fun.”

Officers didn’t find the owner right away, but continued to patrol the area looking for the car. Around 1 p.m., an officer in the area spotted the car and stopped a man seen walking away, Simpson said. The officer also noticed the naked woman bound in the back of the car.

The man, who police said is 31-year-old Nikolas Alexander Harbar, told police that he and his girlfriend were doing some Valentine’s Day role-playing. Officers said his girlfriend, 26-year-old Stephanie Morgan Pelzner, confirmed that story.

Officers arrested the couple on charges of disorderly conduct in the second degree. They were both taken to the Multnomah County Jail.

“You can’t do things that are going to create a public alarm,” Simpson said. “When it starts to affect other people and the public, something like this is not okay.”

Simpson said nine Portland Police cars were tied up for approximately 20 minutes searching for the couple.

“Role-play all you want,” he said. “But when you do something that is going to generate a 911 call you should probably do it at home.”

The Lesson is that when hashing out your safewords over your favorite microbrew, don’t land on ”Call 9-1-1.”  In city limits, I believe municipal code requires a more socially responsible safe word like, “compost,” or “Malkmus.”

godspeed, freaks.


2 Responses to In Portland, Even The BDSM Crowd Rolls In Subarus

  1. tim says:

    Danielle??

  2. Matt says:

    haha. you tell me

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