“It’s Like Cairo Has Moved To Madison”…And They’re All Standing In Line At The KK

February Is Clearly Black  History  Wisconsin? Fuck! Month.

First it was the Super Bowl. For the Christina Aguilera (and Bears’) fan in me, it wasn’t a very good time.  Then it was 2 weeks of bad weather and Rep. Paul Ryan’s hilarious budget proposal. Now it’s Governor Scott Walker’s time to shine as this week’s  biggest dick. Next thing you know, the BoDeans will cancel their 2/20 date in Eau Clare.

This morning, trusty Paul Ryan took to that show with the Starbucks’ -shilling hosts who conduct speed-dating interviews so they can get to the next commercial break before sharting themselves.

Host Mika Brzezinski asked Ryan what he made of the protests and Walker’s “stand.”

“He is basically saying, state workers, which have extremely generous benefit packages relative to their private sector counterparts, they contribute next to nothing to their pensions, very, very little in their health care packages,” Ryan responded “He’s asking that they contribute about 12% for their health care premiums, which is about half of the private sector average, and about 5.6% to their pensions. It’s not asking a lot, it’s still about half of what private sector pensions do and health care packages do. So he’s basically saying, I want you public workers to pay half of what our private sector counterparts are, and he’s getting, you know, riots. It’s like Cairo has moved to Madison these days. It’s just, all of this demonstration. It’s fine, people should be able to express their way, but we’ve got to get this deficit and debt under control in Madison, if we want to have a good business climate and job creation in Wisconsin.”

They have intellectual dishonesty there, too! Though I’m sure Mika would’ve called him on it if she wasn’t distracted by sheer tensity of her ass-muscles.

Rep. Ryan – That is not what the protests are about.  All parties recognize the budget crises in many statehouses. It’s not about a possible rise in pension/health care contributions.  The protests are about Wisconsin’s GOP stripping the bargaining rights of workers – protective rights held for generations.

Add in a dash of ‘let’s threaten to call the national guard to enforce our police state on their brothers and sisters,’ and the milk is starting to curdle. 

And yes – Madison is just like Cairo! Except that most Wisconsites are 3 times the size and only beat their women after Packers’ losses.

If Paul Ryan wants to see Madtown riot, he should get there on Halloween or that Saturday night when daylight savings time causes the bars to close an hour before the logically drunk think they should close. Maybe he can dress as that new lanky guy on The Office (gabe?). Or as Rick Berry’s non-athletic son.

I could get on my organized labor soapbox – it’s my new speciality. Age of Prosperity, empowered workers, how real wages for the middle class have not risen in over 20 years, and blahbalhblah.  But it’s too late for that.

This bill will pass and the I’m guessing a lot of responsibility should be placed on the people who sat on the bench last November, hurt and obsessed with Mike McCarthy’s 4th and 1 call at Detroit, while your obese uncles were squeezing into the polling booth to pull the lever for this teabaggin’ dragon. 

As Russ Feingold said, we’re looking at the ‘Gilded Age on Steroids.‘ Well done, Scott Walker. You win.