Scott Walker Invokes Birth Of Jesus In Attempt To Save His Own Ass

Posted by Matt on Saturday, December 24th, 2011

This guy is unreal.  I will paraphrase the narration.

“Hi, I’m Mrs. Scott Walker.  I’m speaking because our handlers thought any message of ‘unity’ from my husband would appear totally disingenuous.”

“And Christmas.”

“To say my husband is a benevolent leader is like saying he looks natural wrapping these christmas gifts.”

“Oh, you’re the daughter of a correctional officer? That’s nice.  What do we have for you? Oh look, it’s a random phone charger someone left at our campaign office. Maybe your dad can use it to subdue someone at his terrifying job.  We can’t possibly let him bargain for working conditions that include such things as hand-cuffs. You understand. Like my husband says, too many entitlements.”

“However…Happy Holidays.”

“Also, we in Wisconsin have a history of helping our neighbors.  Like when my husband threatened to call the National Guard to turn on their neighbors who teach their children because he so despised the thought of moving on “together” via negotiation, compromise and honoring contracts. He probably won’t be recalled, but it is getting too close for the Walker family to really enjoy our Mannheim Steamroller.”

“Let’s move forward together.  And by that, I mean please don’t add your name to the 500,000 who have signed the petition to recall my husband.”

“We will serve food to the homeless (on camera).  In the Spirit of Giving, they’ll pay a poll tax in any upcoming elections. Say, for instance, a recall meaningless election you shouldn’t bother with anyway.  They’re homeless – just like Jesus! Isn’t that enough? Don’t worry, I’ll be back next campaign season. Merry Christmas…”

“Hi. I’m Scott Walker. You don’t have to like me. Just let me stay as the plutocrat puppet for you, the People. Wisconsin. Jesus. Cheese. Koch Industries. Bless you.”

“Happy Holidays”


One Response to Scott Walker Invokes Birth Of Jesus In Attempt To Save His Own Ass

  1. Dr Dan says:

    I love that his long hair son is staring daggers at him throughout this PSA

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