Shockingly, Company That Closes Overrated Fast Food Stores On Sundays Because Of Jesus Also Doesn’t Like Gay People

Posted by Matt on Thursday, July 19th, 2012

Chik-Fil-A is a divisive member of my family.  We’ve never lived close to one, but whenever we’re on the road my wife focuses her ADHD like a honed carrier pigeon, “Ooh Chik-Fil-A! Let’s go!”  I don’t really like the food and usually retort with something disrespectfully inane like, “i’ll chick-fil-a in your pants.” Sometimes she’s disgusted enough to remain silent until we get past the exit. Sometimes we stop. As a traditional couple, we get served without incident. They take our green money or plastic swipe cards and don’t inquire as to the details of our sexual depravity (hint: cayenne pepper).

Chik-Fil-A doesn’t stay open on Sundays because that is the day of rest noted in the Bible.  Fervent Christians are known for their compassion and acceptance, which is exactly why they co-sponsor anti-gay rights golf events.  Yes, these fundraisers do exist, and they’re quite a nice time except there are no flagpins or holes allowed (too suggestive).

So obviously some liberals were SHOCKED about the following interview given by Chik-Fil-A COO Dan Cathy.

[COO Dan] Cathy told the Baptist Press he aims to operate the restaurant chain “on biblical principles.” When asked whether his company had an established position against marriage equality, Cathy said, “guilty as charged.”

He added, “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that. … We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”

Previously, Cathy insisted that he and Chick-fil-A were not antigay, and that his company has “no agenda against anyone.”

The company has reported millions of dollars in donations to antigay groups including the Family Research Council and the Marriage and Family Foundation. Because of Chick-fil-A’s ties to antigay organizations and causes, many LGBT people and allies are boycotting the restaurants, and plans to open a restaurant on the Northeastern University campus were quashed.

You guys get that? “Biblical Principles.”

Matthew 23:37  “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!”

“…and I will debone these children-hens, dredge them in flour, fry em up, and serve them to my obese non-hen children. (Monday through Saturday)!”

Ok, so at least the incredibly predictable gay-hate-outing of this corporate citizen is another card I can play the next time we find ourselves driving through Kentucky.

But just in case you cared (you care), this crew wanted to let everyone know they’re Pissed!

The gay rights campaign NOH8, which is supported by “Glee” actress Jane Lynch, Deepak Chopra, Miley Cyrus, Lindsay Lohan and the Kardashian sisters, among others, has also called for a Chick-fil-A boycott.

All the Kardashsian Sisters?!  Holy shit I’m boycotting yesterday!

Note to NOH8 – you can do better than that.

The rest of you?  You can do better as well.  CULVER’S!


4 Responses to Shockingly, Company That Closes Overrated Fast Food Stores On Sundays Because Of Jesus Also Doesn’t Like Gay People

  1. Which of those groups is “anti” gay? Just because people believe a family structure should be balanced with a man and woman doesn’t mean they hate gay people. It is a differing opinion. There is nothing hateful about Chick-Fil-A donating to groups that support marriage between a man and woman. Further more I have no clue how Fellowship Of Christian Athletes and National Christian Foundation are “anti” gay groups? So they don’t support homosexuality because of religion? So what? They aren’t telling people to go out and hurt homo’s. These are both excellent groups that do more for the community than any pro homosexual group that only fosters to one small sliver of our society.

  2. Matt says:

    By actively trying to enshrine certain rights to group A that aren’t extended to group B, that’s anti-group B behavior. Or more specifically,

    CCV website states, “We believe that homosexual behavior is unhealthy and destructive to the individual, to families, and thus to communities and to society as a whole,” and calls on members to “join us in resisting, on every front, the organized effort to normalize homosexual behavior in our society.”

  3. [...] week, the esteemed President of Chik-Fil-A officially came out as a bigot.  While they had a long history of sponsoring anti-gay causes, this was a surprise to many and an [...]

  4. [...] They’re screwed. This guy is terrible. But not as bad as him. Like these guys. Was somehow a big deal. Love you buddy!  This still stinks. A lot of sad. They’re still the worst. [...]

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